First normal day in a long time!

So despite my last post being pretty positive in terms of how I felt about my recovery, there were still things on my mind and these crept up on me on the very same night. I went to bed and in all honesty I guess I was feeling a little sorry for myself. I was fed up of not being able to dress normally, due to these silly socks and not being able to wear a bra. I mean its summer and I can't wear shorts, dresses or sandals! It may sound silly, but when you are going for a meal dressed in a track suit bottoms and a vest top, you really do still feel like a patient. It was also getting me down that despite feeling like things are going well, all in all I haven't done anything really really fun in months, since about Febuary in fact, when my lung first collapsed. I haven't had a dance on a night out, I haven't been able to really enjoy a day in town due to back ache and generally recovery gripes, I haven't got dressed up for anything, basically I feel quite boring. We started off joking that I was being taken for my regular daily walk, but now it doesn't feel quite so funny that that is the highlight of my day :/
On top of this my chest still doesn't feel 100% Ok, the wound is healing well, so that isn't too bad, but I do still get some aches and pains in the ribs. On top of this I am unfit, or at least I hope I am and that the fact I get out of breath walking up a steep hill is not a sign of the breathlessness they say indicates a pulmonary embolism or some other horrid lung problem.
This is what I think annoys me the most, the anxiety. I kept reading about it before as I sated to write this and it is true that I really do become quite an issue. I know I'm likely being ridiculous in thinking all these things could be wrong with me, but the problem is a cant help but think it. And then I of course worry that by telling myself I am being silly, I am being even more silly as I am not getting it checked out, so what if it is something bad and I don't ever find out. But then do I want to be that person at the doctors every week? Where every little thing makes me feel anxious?
So that is where I was that night, I had a little cry and my parter helped me to feel better about things and reminded me that soon enough I will be out of these stockings and going away for my birthday and for a lovely holiday...so that is what I will focus on now. I don't want to sound negative...but I think it is important to note that despite a seemingly good recovery, there may be days when you do just feel like crap and are fed up of being in recovery!

Anyhow I titled this as my first normal day, so more about that. After my moaning in the night, yesterday I was taken into town by my parter and brother to buy some walking gear for our holiday and to make sure I can go out walking even on a rainy day (all the exercise helps!). I was also free of stockings!!! they needed washing and I figured as I would be on my feet it should be fine :) So in normal clothes we spent a while browsing and then looking at the tents on display before going for lunch. We went for pizza at prezzo and then after a quick stop at home we went to the cinema to watch Jurassic World. Normal things at last! Although I did get belly ache and miss some of the movie :/
Safe to say I was knackered that evening, but it was great to do something like this finally!!