Online forums, use them wisely.

So like most people who suffer from a condition that isn't very common, I went online to seek more information and answers. A lot of the info is the same and doesn't really give much in terms of what you ca expect to experience...hence the blog, however I have found a few forums on Facebook which have been helpful in terms of personal experience.
At least it started out that way. Don't get wrong, it is still great to know there are other people to talk to and ask advice of, but at the same time it has also led me to become more anxious. By reading other people's stories, you inevitably come across those whose stories are worse, and who share their experience in order to help others. This is a good thing, don't get me wrong. But I think at the moment in my recovery I am in a position whereby I feel like I am waiting for it all to go wrong. For some reason I can't just accept that I suffered a relatively rare condition, got treatment, and now I'm ok. I don't know why, but I guess that is the anxiety. First I was worried I had a pulmonary embolism or pneumonia, I felt tired and a little breathless, but really I was just exercising and out of breath due to lack of fitness. Oh and I was tired because I am in recovery! I get aches and pains, and these of course must mean something worse. My wound looked a bit strange when the scab fell off, it had white stuff inside that I was convinced an infection...it is now healing fine with no antibiotics. And this week I had my pill break and started my period. What does this have to do with anything? Well on reading online forums I came across something called catamenial pneumothorax. It is endometriosis that has managed to spread through the diaphragm and onto the lung, causing monthly bleeding, scar tissue and collapses. Symptoms of this are a lot of pain in the chest area during the monthly cycle, and from what I have read a stabbing pain in the shoulder blade area. So now of course I am waiting for the symptoms to appear and tell me I must now have this too. I actually had a test for endometriosis after first speaking to the chest consultant. I was sent for an ultrasound during which I found out I have a tilted uterus and one ovary that apparently was hiding, probably behind gas. Apparently this likely means no endometriosis, as it would likely not be free floating if this was the case. However now after reading online I have found out that a tilted uterus can be a sign of endo. I also suffered a couple of small sharp pains in my shoulder blade, and so I freaked out a little bit. However, I also have a bad back and shoulder with a knot that often causes pain in this area and I haven't really suffered from much in terms of period pain, which is apparently a common symptom of endometriosis.
So far I am three days in and have no lung collapse, and in fact just have a painful knot in the same shoulder as usual, likely a result of being more active. I actually managed to walk up a hill that was too steep for me to manage before surgery, so feeling pretty good.

Sorry for the rant. I guess writing about it just helps. My personal experience is that forums are a great place to ask questions and get advice. Even as a place to rant, but I found that reading and reading others stories and problems can just lead you down a road where you end up convincing yourself you are one of those few and you look out for symptoms in yourself to back this up. Everyone says don't google it...and I can kinda see why.
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