VATS Pleurectomy: Reflection

I wanted to add a reflection here of my experience from where I am sitting now. I have done my best to write honestly as to my feelings each day, however I am now able to look back with hindsight and my view of things is slightly different. 

Before the surgery I had suffered 2 diagnosed spontaneous pneumothoraces (I believe I suffered another a week before surgery too). These were only very small, about 10% or less, however did prevent me from doing many things due to the physical pain. Before the surgery though I have to say that I was feeling pretty good, the last collapse must have been tiny as the symptoms had gone in a couple of days and to all intense and purposes I was as fit as a fiddle again. 

I remembered this on days one and two post-op. I was fine before! and now I feel rotten and in pain and like I will never get better again. Why did I let them do this to me? 
Well... I am now a week post-op and I am no longer in huge amounts of pain, my lung is inflating well and I am already able to go on short walks around the village. If this is only the early stages of recovery then I keep a positive mind about how the rest should go, and hope that in a few weeks I will be able to start getting more active and pursuing sporting activities. In fact my biggest hope is that I can go on a camping holiday in August as we purchased a new tent this year and it would be a shame not to use it! 

So looking back I guess I want to say that if your experience is anything like mine (and I like to look at is as quite a good one really) you will likely feel like crap for a couple of days after the surgery and wonder why on earth you let anyone do this to you. Why, why, why would you let someone put a drain in your side!? It hurts, the painkillers are crap and you have to pee into a comode! But then I will say that you will recover more quickly than you can imagine. Literally within hours you can go from feeling the lowest low, to feeling drain free and great. 

I think one of the things I am most grateful for looking back is the hard work of the staff at the hospital. Yes there are improvements that can be made, but these were generally very minor bedside things (such as putting the bedside table back in reach after you move it...seriously, it seems trivial now but at the time it is so frustrating) and all in all I had excellent care. The positive attitude of the staff reminded me that I was getting better even when I felt like crap and the fact that they make the most undignified situations seem normal also serves to improve your moods. 
Another thing I am grateful for is family and friends, especially my boyfriend. I didn't have a ton of visitors, I wasn't up to it on most days, but cards and texts put a smile on my face. My partner probably doesn't realise just how much his presence helped me through everything, but just being sat here now writing this and thinking back makes me a little emotional. His love and care meant the world and it was just so wonderful to see his face and know that he was there to help me and love me, no matter how trivial the request. From constantly moving my pillows an inch here or there to get comfy, to sitting by my side for hours whilst I slept and spoke hardly a word. It was such a relief to just know he was there and it has made me love him all the more every day for the wonderful and caring person he is. 

So, was it worth it? I am yet to know in the long run. At the moment however, a week after surgery, my answer is yes. I am in some pain still, but things are on the mend and if this continues I can't see why it would be an issue. So if you are awaiting surgery like I was, and worrying like mad about every little thing, I can honestly say that it does get better. You will still worry, and things might feel crap and hurt a little, but from my experience it is manageable and it goes away quicker than you might think.